My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
