So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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