Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
