The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
