shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's shark week go big or go home
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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