i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
