I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
