sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
