Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize