then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
