last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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