If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
