I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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