Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
