no, he came in my armpit
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
