i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize