There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
