Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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