The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
