i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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