I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
