Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
