they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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