Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
