You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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