Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
