I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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