booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
