How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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