dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we're so committed to being not committed
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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