I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
