yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
