The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
