Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize