so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
