worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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