I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
