I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
