he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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