so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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