love makes seman taste better
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
