I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize