I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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