I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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