Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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