You made me cry and you don't even care
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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