He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
