My brain says no but my pants say off.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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