You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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