How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
