One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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