I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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