in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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