It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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