from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
