feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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