Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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