You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
